Yosef tattled on his brothers. He didn't do this because he was malicious. He did this because he had a *STRONG SENSE OF JUSTICE* and wanted his brothers held accountable for their cruel and demeaning behavior towards the other siblings in the family.
Yosef experienced the *LOSS* of his mother at a very young age. Perhaps to compensate for this overwhelming loss, and also because his father had loved his dead mother so much, he was given a special item- a beautiful coat. His brothers failed to recognize that a coat would never make up for the lack of a mother and were jealous of the coat instead of recognizing how lucky they were to still have mothers.
Yosef had a *TALENT.* It was a talent to dream, and for those dreams to come true- whether because they were prophetic, or because he worked hard to make them come to fruition. His father became fearful for Yosef's wellbeing (because Yosef was coming across as a 'show-off') and so he rebuked him harshly.
Jealous, insecure, and lacking empathy, Yosef's brothers planned to kill him- but in the end simply sold him into slavery, obscurity. They faked his death, caring little for the impact it would have on their aged father.
But even when family and community had *TURNED AGAINST HIM,* Yosef still had God. God was with him when he came to a foreign land in a lowly position. It was God he trusted as he worked hard to rise to a high position in that foreign land. And when he was faced with doing the expedient thing- giving in to someone who had more power than him, and who wanted his body- and doing the right thing, his *SENSE OF MORALITY* remained strong. Even though it cost him everything- and he was cast down, literally and figuratively, into the pit once more. The pit from which he had THOUGHT he escaped.
But then, too, God was with him. God took him out of that pit again, and God raised him high. God gave him the opportunity to test and teach his brothers empathy. And none of it would have been possible without the experiences he went through first.
Gifted children are different. They often have a profound sense of justice, a talent or gift in a subject area or domain where they outstrip their peers, and they experience loss- whether through being misunderstood by peers, teachers, family or community members. Even when they are rewarded or shown praise by teachers, this often is understood by peers as their being a "teacher's pet" and a "showoff" and so they are hated. Misunderstood, their inner sense of morality guides them when the morality of others around them has been shown to be a sham.
Gifted *Jewish* children have the ability to rely on and turn to God when they experience these crises. And this is what Yosef did. Unfortunately, it doesn't always go this way, and sometimes the gifted children assume that God too is against them, because if they judge God by the behavior of others- if Yosef had judged God by the behavior of his brothers- this would be the logical outcome.
Our Jewish day schools have STILL not done enough to support the Yosefs and the gifted children. In fact, many of our Jewish day schools penalize children for being like Yosef- at the very time that they teach this parsha. It's ironic and hypocritical and the gifted child is well aware of the dichotomy.
I was Yosef growing up. I was the goody two-shoes, the tattle tale, the child with a strong sense of justice. I was the one who was good at English and told that I was only average. I was the one who left my community to join an entirely different community as a teenager, and who had to learn how to sink or swim there. I was the one who came to realize that God was with me, and that God was not the same as the rabbis, institutions and Jewish day schools that failed me.
And just like Yosef, every single one of my experiences was essential to help me become who I am today. If I have made any impact, it's because of the things that happened to me. But that doesn't mean they should happen to anyone else.
I am Yosef, and our community needs to get better at not harming Yosef.
Not hating Yosef.
Not being jealous of Yosef.
And not telling Yosef that his talent isn't real.
Because the way the Yosef story COULD have gone- the feelings of brokenness and betrayal with which he could have struggled, or the hatred and enmity that Yosef COULD have visited upon his brothers, community and family members- is very real. And this is the story that too many of my fellow Yosefs live.
To learn more about characteristics of gifted children, click here.
To read more about profoundly gifted students, click here.
Most teachers in the private Jewish school system need to learn how to be an advocate for gifted children. It starts with treating students as individuals and allowing them to follow their interests and passions.