Parsha for Kids: Toldot 2022

Below is the transcript for this week’s episode of Parsha for Kids, Toldot 2022.

You can listen to the podcast on Spotify (link to this week’s episode), Apple, Audible, iHeartRadio and a variety of other places. (Some of these might only update with the new episode content tomorrow.)

Please give it a listen and share it with the kids in your life. Additionally, I would very much appreciate it if you would be willing to subscribe, rate the podcast on the app where you listen to it, and leave a review.

---

Episode 6:

Hello! My name is Chana, and this is Parsha for Kids. The Parsha of the week is Toldos. Toldos means generations, or descendants.

The parsha begins by listing the history of the people we are about to learn about. Avraham had a son named Yitzchak. Yitzchak married Rivka when he was 40 years old. This is when you would expect the parsha to list Yitzchak and Rivka’s children.

But it doesn’t…because they didn’t have any!

Why didn’t they have any? 

The Torah tells us that Rivka was an  akarah, which means someone who is barren. This means she was unable to have children. The Torah also tells us something beautiful. It tells us that Rivka prayed for a child and Yitzchak prayed to God opposite his wife, begging for God to give her a child. This is a powerful image- both members of the couple united in praying for a child, hoping that God will grant them one. 

Rashi explains that the words “opposite his wife” means that Yitzchok stood in one corner and prayed while Rivka stayed in a different corner and prayed. 

You may notice that today, in Orthodox Jewish synagogues, women and men are divided for prayer. There is a mechitza, or divider, that exists in the middle. Perhaps one of the original clues that this division is necessary in order for people to focus comes from this week’s parsha, when it says that Yitzchak prayed to God opposite his wife. He was not next to her, where you might expect him to be, but opposite her. Why? We already know that he loved her; that was written about in last week’s parsha. So he is not standing far away from her because he lacks love for her. What, then, can it be? 

Think about what helps you focus. If you are trying to do your homework, for example, it can be hard to do if you have little siblings wandering around the same room as you or trying to give you a high five. So in our case, it’s possible that when someone truly wants to focus and devote all of their attention to God and the request they are making of Him through prayer, they cannot have anything or anybody- including their beloved wife- distracting them. If Yitzchok had been holding Rivka’s hand or standing beside her as he prayed, perhaps he would have become distracted, more focused on her than on God. In order to concentrate, he had to separate himself. 

Luckily, God accepted Yitzchak’s prayer, and Rivka became pregnant. One can only imagine how excited both of them must have been when they realized she was finally going to have a child! 

TRANSITION SOUND

Rivka felt her baby struggling within her. She was troubled by this, and so she decided to find out from God what was happening.

Rashi explains that Rivka was pregnant with twins. Even before birth, the twins had different natures and personalities. When Rivka would pass by holy places, one twin would feel called to them and struggle to emerge. In contrast, when Rivka would pass by places of idol worship, the other twin would move around a lot within her. 

God told Rivka that she carried two nations within herself, meaning that each of the brothers would have descendants that would one day become mighty nations. These brothers, and their respective nations, would exist in tension with one another. Rivka was also told that in the end, one brother’s kingdom would be stronger than the other, and - and this is very important- that the elder brother would serve the younger brother.

This piece of knowledge would influence Rivka’s actions later in the parsha. Remember that only Rivka knew this piece of information- it wasn’t revealed to Yitzchak, and we have no evidence that Rivka told Yitzchak about the message she received from God. 

TRANSITION SOUND

When the brothers were finally born, they looked physically different. The first one, the elder brother, was reddish and completely covered in hair. His name was Esav. The second one emerged grasping onto his older brother’s heel. He was smooth-skinned, and his name was Yaakov. 

As the brothers grew older, their different natures became clear. Esav was described as ish yodea tzayid, ish sadeh, a man who knew how to hunt, a man of the field. Yaakov, in contrast, waas described as ish tam, yoshev ohalim, an innocent man, dwelling in tents. Esav was an outdoors kind of person, enjoying being outside, being active, shooting his prey with weapons, and bringing home game, which means hunted animals, to eat. Yaakov was an indoors kind of person who liked to read and study. 

Nowadays, we might talk about the difference between Esav and Yaakov as being the difference between an extrovert and an introvert. An extrovert is a person who is outgoing, and who gets their energy from being around others. An introvert is a person who is more reflective and often quieter, and who gets their energy from recharging alone. Recently, a woman named Susain Cain wrote a book called ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking.’ Susan says that often, it’s easier for people to understand and connect to extroverts. After all, extroverts tend to be outgoing, talkative, make friends easily and connect with others. It can be harder to connect to an introvert, who might be quieter, more thoughtful and harder to read. But it’s important to realize that both types of people are necessary, and that our world is a better place because we have both kinds of people in it. 

Yitzchok connected more strongly to Esav, appreciating the tasty and delicious food from the hunt that his son served him. In contrast, Rivka connected more to Yaakov. It’s possible that part of the reason this was the case was because she knew, based on the word of God, that Esav and the nation that would come from him would be destined to serve Yaakov one day. 

TRANSITION SOUND

On the day that Avraham died, Yaakov was cooking a red lentil soup. Esav had been hunting in the field, which is exhausting, hard and sweaty work. He came in, famished, and asked his brother to pour some of the red, red stuff- referring to the soup- down his throat- because he was weary.

Yaakov did not immediately agree. Instead, he proposed a deal. “Micrah Kayom es Bechorascha Li,” he said. “Sell me, as of today, your birthright.” 

What is a birthright? 

A birthright refers to the duties and responsibilities of the eldest son. An eldest son would typically receive a double portion of their father’s wealth and possessions. He would also, typically, follow in his father’s ways and profession. In Yitzchok’s case, that would mean carrying on Brit Avraham, the covenant of Avraham, with a focus on serving God in the world. 

What Esav should have answered was: “Are you crazy? Of course I won’t sell you the birthright! Why would I sell you my birthright just to eat some soup?” 

But that’s not what he said. Instead, he said, “I’m going to die, so why do I need the birthright?” 

This is a puzzling statement. What did Esav mean? There are several possibilities. It could be that Esav was so famished that he felt he truly was going to die unless he got the soup right then. It could also be that since he was a hunter, he knew his occupation was dangerous. It was possible that one day a wild animal might gore him or tear him apart, so he figured he would not be alive long enough to benefit from the birthright. But Rashi interprets this statement in a very different light. Rashi believes that Esav was aware that he was spiritually unworthy of continuing Brit Avraham. Esav, according to Rashi, had polluted hs soul by committing sins, including murder. Esav figured that if he would try to serve God, he would do something wrong and God would kill him. Thus, why should he want the birthright? 

Yaakov stated again that he wanted Eisav to swear that he would give Yaakov the birthright in exchange for the soup, and Eisav swore.

Think about this. Is the special honor of being the firstborn child who would serve God and continue Avraham’s legacy equal to a bowl of soup and some bread? Of course not. Esav should have realized and understood that, and should have refused to make the trade. The fact that Esav was either so hungry that he let his hunger overrule his good judgment, acting on impulse, or that he simply didn’t care about continuing the Brit with God, was a big problem. 

Why do you think Yaakov asked for the birthright? 

Rashi explains that all of this happened the day that Avraham died. Yaakov was cooking a special soup that is served to people in mourning, people who are sad that their relative has died. Then, in comes Esav, fresh from the field, sweaty, tired and demanding food. At that moment, it’s possible that Yaakov looked at his brother and thought, “Is this person a fit successor to our grandfather Avraham, who has just died? Would this person be willing to pass tests- like Avraham did- to show his allegiance to God?” Remember that Avraham had been willing to slaughter his own son, Yitzchok, because God had asked that of him. 

It could be that in that moment, Yaakov posed the question as a test. Would Esav refuse to sell him the birthright, proving himself worthy of continuing Avraham’s legacy? Or would he give it up?

In the end, Esav gave it up- failing the test. This meant that officially, Yaakov had the rights and the responsibilities of the eldest son, and in a way, had taken on the role of the eldest son.

TRANSITION SOUND

At the age of forty, Esav married two wives, Yehudit and Basmat. Yitzchok and Rivka did not like them. Rashi explains that the reason why they were upset by these women was because they worshiped idols. 

Years passed, and Yitzchok became old. He was blind, and he called to Esav, who came immediately and said “Here I am.”

Yitzchok explained that he did not know when he would die. Therefore, he requested that Esav sharpen his sword and take up his bow and hunt game in the field. Esav should then cook the food that his father enjoyed, serve it to him, and, buoyed by feelings of appreciation and gratitude, Yitzchok would give Esav a blessing before he died.

Rivka overheard what Yitzchok had said. She summoned her son Yaakov and told him everything that Yitzchok had said to Esav. Then, she told Yaaakov to go to the flock, take two delicious kid goats from there, and bring them to her. She would prepare a special dish made of the kid goat meat for Yitzchok. Yaakov would bring them to his father so that he would receive a blessing from Yaakov. 

Why would Rivka do this? It was based on the special knowledge she had received back when she was pregnant with the twins. Rivka knew, as Yitzchok did not, that the elder twin was destined to serve the younger. Thus, she knew that the special blessing was intended for Yaakov, not for Esav.

That having been said, Rivka does not tell Yaakov to lie about his identity . She simply tells him to enter the room, serve the food, and let his father offer up the blessing.

It’s Yaakov who thinks that the way he needs to accomplish this is by pretending to be Esav. He is the one who protests to his mother, “Esav is a hairy man while I am smooth-skinned. My father might touch me, and I will seem like a deceiver to him, and then I will receive a curse and not a blessing.” 

Rivka told Yaakov that if that happened, the curse should fall upon her and not upon him. She reiterated again that he needed to bring the kid goats to her, and Yaakov did so. Rivka prepared the food and then dressed Yaakov in Esav’s clothing. She took the furry goat skin and placed them on Yaaakov’s arms and neck so that he would feel hairy to the touch.

But why didn’t Yaakov protest and say this was wrong?

The fact is that Yaakov too had information that Yitzchok didn’t have. The information that he had was that Esav had sold him the birthright. Therefore, according to the law, Yaakov really DID have the firstborn son status and really was deserving of the blessing. That is likely why he went along with his mother’s plan.

There is an obvious question. Why didn’t Rivka just tell Yitzchok that the elder son, Esav, was destined to serve the younger, Yaakov? And why didn’t Yaakov just tell his father that years ago, he had purchased the birthright from his brother, Esav?

I think it it possible that neither one of them wanted to hurt Yitzchok. Yes, according to Rashi, Yitzchok was aware that Esav had married women who worshipped idols, avodah zarah. But Yitzchok might have believed that Esav was a good and exemplary son himself, even if his wives were not. After all, Esav treated his father with the utmost respect. In the Talmud, our sages say that Esav excelled at the mitzvah of kibud av, honoring his father, and that even the Sages did not rise to the level that he did.

We know Yitzchok loved Esav, and saw him in the best possible light. We know that Esav showed his best self to his father, providing him with tasty food, serving him, and excelling when it came to kibud av, serving him.

Rivka and Yaakov likely thought- why should we break Yitzchok’s heart? Why should we tell him that his son Esav has polluted his soul, committing murder and despising and selling his birthright? It will only hurt him- and serve no purpose.

It is not clear if this was the right decision. Perhaps things would have been simpler if they had simply been truthful with Yitzchok. But, whether it was right or wrong, it seems like it was motivated out of love. 

TRANSITION SOUND

Yaakov entered the room where his blind father was waiting. “My father!” he exclaimed. Yitzchook replied, “Here I am. Who are you, my son?”

Yaakov replied, “I am Esav, your firstborn. I have done as you have spoken to me. Please rise, sit down, and eat, so that your soul may bless me.” 

Yitzchok asked, “How have you found the game so quickly?”

Yaakov answered, “Because the Lord your God prepared it for me.”

This was not the way or the manner that Esav usually spoke. Esav did not usually mention God. Yitzchok said, “Please come closer, so that I may feel you and know whether you are really Esav or not.” 

Yaakov came close and Yitzchok felt him. Yitzchok said in wonder, Hakol kol Yaakov v’hayadayim yedei Esav- the voice is the voice of Yaakov, but the hands are the hands of Esav. The diction, speech pattern, mention of God and sweetness- for example, the request to PLEASE rise- all sounded like Yaakov. And yet when Yitzchok felt Yaakov’s arms, they were hairy due to the goat skins. 

Yitzchok blessed Yaakov, but continued to ask whether the person he was speaking to was really Esav. Yaakov said he was, and Yitzchok requested that he serve him the food. Yitzchok then bestowed upon him an elaborate blessing, stating that God should give the son standing in front of him the dew of the heavens, the fatness of the earth, and an abundance of grain and wine. Nations should serve him and he would be master over his brothers. Those who cursed Yaakov would be cursed, and those who blessed him would be blessed.

At the conclusion of the blessing, just after Yaakov left, Esav entered with the food from his hunt.

TRANSITION SOUND

Esav stated, “Let my father arise and eat of the game of his son, so your soul will bless me.”

Yitzchok said, “Who are you?” and Esav replied, “I am Esav, your firstborn.”

At this point Yitzchok shuddered, which means he trembled. He asked, “Who is the one who hunted game and brought it to me and whom I blessed? And he will remain blessed.” 

Esav let out a great and bitter cry and exclaimed, “Bless me, too, o father!”

Yitzchok replied, “Your brother came with cunning and took your blessing.”

Esav said, “Is that not why he was named Yaakov? For he has deceived me- yaakveini- twice, once when he took my birthright and now that he has taken my blessing.” He paused and continued, “Do you not have a blessing left for me?” 

Esav did not realize it, but by admitting that Yaakov had taken his birthright, he had actually set his father's mind at ease- because now his father realized that he had blessed the firstborn son according to the law.

Yitzchok told Esav, “I have made Yaakov master over you, and told him his brothers would serve him, and I have said he will live off corn and wine, so what then is left for me to do for you?”

And Esav said, “Do you only have one blessing, father? Bless me too, father.” And Esav raised his voice and wept. 

Yitzchok gave Esav a blessing as well. He said that Esav would live off the fat of the land and the dew of the heavens, but he would live by his sword. He would serve Yaakov but there would be times when he would break free of Yaakov.

TRANSITION SOUND

Esav hated Yaakov because of the blessings Yaakov had taken from him. He plotted, deciding that once their father Yitzchok died, he would then kill his brother. 

This is actually an incredible testament to how much Esav loved his father. Even Esav, who had done wrong and had polluted his soul, had this redeeming quality. He knew that it would make Yitzchok sad if Esav were to kill Yaakov. Therefore, despite how angry he was and how much he hated his brother, Esav decided he would not kill Yaakov until his father had died and was not alive to see what he did. 

We can learn a lot from this. One of the things we can learn is that even people who seem wicked or evil can have a specific good quality or a special mitzvah that they are good at. Usually people are not completely good or bad. As we see with Esav, even though there was much that he did that was bad, he had the ability to do good as well- and specifically, to do something that was very difficult for him out of love for his father. 

Rivka was told by God what Esav was thinking in his heart. So she called Yaakov and warned him that Esav wanted him dead and planned to kill him. She told Yaakov that in order to save his life he needed to run away to his uncle, her brother Lavan in Charan. Rivka explained that when Esav cooled down and was no longer angry, she would then send for Yaakov and bring him back home. 

Rivka had to give Yitzchok a reason that she wanted Yaakov to leave. She didn’t want to hurt Yitzchok and let him know that the son he loved, Esav, was secretly plotting to kill Yaakov. Instead, she decided to focus on marriage. She told Yitzchok she was bothered by the wives Esav had chosen and did not want Yaakov to choose similar kinds of women. Yitzchok then summoned Yaakov to him and told him not to take a wife from the daughters of Canaan- just like Avraham had told the servant regarding him, Yitzchok.

Yitzchok told Yaakov to go to Lavan’s house and to marry one of his daughters. He also blessed him with Birkat Avraham, the blessing of Avraham. 

When Esav saw that Yitzchok had sent Yaakov away because he didn’t want Yaakov to marry Canaanite women, Esav also wanted to please his father. So Esav went to Yishmael, Avraham’s brother, and married Machalat, Yishmael’s daughter, in addition to his other wives.

Esav had the right intention but the wrong execution. His parents would likely have preferred that he stop the women he had already married from worshipping idols instead of marrying yet another woman. And if he WAS going to marry another woman, then it would have made more sense for him to marry one of Lavan’s daughters, just like Yaakov. 

We are left with many questions at the end of this week’s parsha. It seems like both Rivka and Yaakov knew the truth about Esav, but they didn’t want to break Yitzchak’s heart by revealing it to him. Was that the right choice? Or would it have been better for them to tell Yitzchok the truth- even if it hurt him- so he could make a decision about which son to bless with full knowledge? 

Esav, too, chose not to kill Yaakov because he knows it will hurt his father. Would he have been better off going to his father and telling him he hated his brother and planned to kill him? Is it possible Yitzchok might have had advice for Esav that could have helped him work through his anger and grief? Yitzchok grew up seeing Yishmael sent away because Yishmael had tried to kill him, and then was reunited with him when Avraham died. Maybe he would have understood Esav and might have been able to give him advice.

We will never know what could have happened- because that’s not the way the story went. In our own lives, if your parents and family are people who love you no matter what, it is better to tell them the truth, even when you think they might be upset, instead of keeping big problems or difficult realities a secret. 

TRANSITION SOUND

So here’s what we learned this week!

• Rivka and Yitzchok both prayed to God to have children. However, they prayed on opposite sides of the room-perhaps as a forerunner to the later idea of making a mechitzah. 

• Rivka was told by God that her elder son would ultimately serve the younger son, information that she had but that Yitzchok did not have. 

• Yaakov tested Esav by asking him to sell his birthright for some bread and red lentil soup. Esav should have told him “No way,” but instead agreed to sell the birthright. This meant Yaakov officially and legally had the rights of the eldest son.

• When Yitzchok wanted to bless Esav as the firstborn son, Rivka insisted that Yaakov take his place. Yaakov reluctantly agreed. 

• Esav was heartbroken that his blessing was taken, and he hated his brother and wanted to kill him. However, even Esav, who according to Rashi did many bad deeds, had a good quality- his love for his father and his ability to do the mitzvah of kibud av, honoring his father. 

• Yaakov had to run away to Lavan, officially to take a wife but really in order to save his life because Rivka realized Esaav wanted to kill him. Rivka told Yaakov that when Esav calmed down, she would tell Yaakov to come back. 

• Even when everyone has the best intentions, it is not good to keep secrets about big, painful things in a family. Maybe this parsha could have gone differently, with less heartbreak and pain all around, if Rivka had told Yitzchak that Esav was destined to serve Yaakov, or if Yaakov had told his father he had the official right to the bechora, the birthright. In our own families, it is best to tell the truth. 

If you have any questions or comments on this week’s episode, please email me at parsha4kids (at) gmail.com. That’s parsha the number 4 kids at gmail.com. Good Shabbos!