Parsha for Kids: Matos 2023
Below is the transcript for this week’s episode of Parsha for Kids, Matos 2023.
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Season 4 Episode 9:
Hello! My name is Chana and this is Parsha for Kids. The parsha of the week is Mattos, or Matot. Matot means tribes. In context, this refers to Moshe speaking to the heads of the tribes about the importance of speech, and specifically the importance of promises and vows.
Your words are significant. This is something you likely already know. All words have power. When you tell your parents or your siblings that you love them, that’s powerful. If you use your words to bully someone else, or hurt their feelings, that’s powerful. And thus it is not surprising that if you use your words to make a vow, neder, or an oath, shvuah, to God, you must keep your word.
Thus, if someone states, “I will visit my friend in the hospital tomorrow,” they are now obligated to do it. It is better not to make a definitive statement in order to avoid making a promise, even if it is an unintentional promise. You could say, “I plan to visit my friend in the hospital tomorrow.” Or perhaps “I will visit my friend in the hospital tomorow bli neder,” which means, in Hebrew, without making this a vow.
People can also make promises or vows about themselves. For example, a person might say, “I promise to no longer eat mint chocolate chip ice cream.”
There can be consequences to that kind of promise. For example, what happens if your sibling spends their own money to purchase a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream and gives it to you? You will probably want to eat a bit of it in order to show them that you appreciate their gift. But you already bound yourself by promising not to.
Our parsha teaches us that if a father hears his twelve to twelve and a half year old daughter make a promise he doesn’t like, he can say “Your promise is invalid,” which nullifies her promise. However, he only has until sunset on the day he hears it to nullify it.
A husband can also cancel his wife’s promises, but must do so on the day he hears it.
There is another method of nullifying promises that our Sages teach us. One can go to three Jewish men, who are called a Beit Din, or court. Or one may go to a learned scholar, talmid chacham, who knows about the laws of promises. You can then explain the situation. “I made a promise not to eat mint chocolate chip ice cream. But now I regret it because my sibling bought me a pint of ice cream and I would like to eat some to show them I appreciate their gift.”
The three men will ask, “If you had known your sibling would buy you this ice cream, would you have made this promise?”
Of course you will say no.
The Beit Din will then nullify, or cancel your promise. This is called Hataras, or Hatarat, Nedarim.
However, it is better not to make a promise in the first place so that you do not find yourself in this situation. Try, as much as possible, to be more careful with your words.
Note that the special kind of promise known as a neder only counts when one is nearly Bar or Bat Mitzvah age- 12 for a girl and 13 for a boy. But it is still a good idea be very careful with your words before that age so that you will be ready by the time you reach age 12 or 13. Therefore, it is better not to make promises about the future, even at a younger age.
TRANSITION
We mentioned in last week’s parsha, Pinchas, that God wanted Bnei Yisrael to make war against the Midianites because they had sent their women to entice Bnei Yisrael to sin and worship idols. In this week’s parsha, the war actually occurs. Moshe sent one thousand soldiers from each tribe, so twelve thousands soldiers in total, along with Pinchas, to fight.
Bnei Yisrael successfully killed all the Midianite men, five Midianite kings, and they also killed Bilam with a sword. Thus we see that Bilam was punished for his role, according to the Midrash, in advising Balak to send the women to cause Bnei Yisrael to sin.
Bnei Yisrael took the Midianite women and children as prisoners. They set fire to the Midianite castles and houses. And they brought back possessions they had won in battle to the camp.
Moshe became angry when he saw that Bnei Yisrael had let the women live. After all, these were the very women who had enticed them to sin. Moshe ordered them to put any woman of marriageable age to death. He also told them to kill the boys. Only the girls who were not yet of marriageable age were permitted to live.
Since the soldiers had touched dead bodies, Moshe commanded them not to enter the camp for seven days. They had to purify themselves with the waters of the Para Adumah first.
TRANSITION
The Midianite possessions that Bnei Yisrael had won included pots, pans and other types of dishes. However, they had been used by the Midianites for non-kosher food. Would Bnei Yisrael be allowed to use these dishes for themselves? Elazar the Kohen Gadol explained the law to Bnei Yisrael based on how it had been taught to Moshe by God.
First, the type of material that the dish is made out of matters. One can kasher dishes, making them fit for kosher use, made of silver, gold, copper and other metals. One cannot kasher dishes made of earth or clay.
If a metal dish had previously been used for hot, non-kosher food, it needed to be kashered. Here’s how that is done. The dish needs to be completely cleaned until it has no dirt on it. Then it must be dipped into a kettle of boiling water. If the object is used over a fire, like a roasting spit, it needs to be put into a fire to become kosher.
What happens if a Midianite owned a dish but had not yet had the opportunity to use it? There was a rule that applied to those brand new dishes as well. They needed to be submerged into the water of the mikvah. This would change the utensil from being in a state of tumah, spiritual impurity, to one of kedusha, holiness.
Later on our Sages ruled that glass dishes also need to be immersed in a mikvah.
These rules of kashering apply to this day. When purchasing new dishes, unless they were actually made and crafted by Jews, we submerge them in the mikvah. And if a dish became or was non-kosher, we kasher it through fire or boiling water. Nowadays, people may use a blowtorch to kasher items as well.
TRANSITION
God gave Moshe an important instruction. He said that the spoils of war should be divided up between the people who actually fought in battle and those that remained at the camp. In this way, no person would feel left out or jealous. Later on, in Sefer, or the book of Shmuel, we will learn about one of the kings of Israel, David, who makes sure to do the same thing. He rewards the men who fight with him along with the ones who stay behind to guard.
TRANSITION
At this point, the tribes of Reuven and Gad decided to come forward to Moshe and make a request. These tribes owned many flocks of sheep. They asked Moshe to let them settle here, on the east side of the Yarden, instead of crossing into Eretz Yisrael. This was because they saw that there were wide, open fields that would be excellent pasture for their sheep.
Imagine that you are Moshe. You desperately want to enter the land of Israel. But God has forbidden you to do so as a consequence of your sin. Now two tribes are declaring that they are content and would in fact prefer not to enter the land of Israel, that they would rather stay in the territory that is not part of Eretz Yisrael. You would likely feel shocked by this request.
Moshe was unhappy. He said to the tribes of Reuven and Gad, “הַֽאַחֵיכֶ֗ם יָבֹ֨אוּ֙ לַמִּלְחָמָ֔ה וְאַתֶּ֖ם תֵּ֥שְׁבוּ פֹֽה:- Will your brothers go to war and you will remain here?
You are strong tribes! If you do not cross over to the land of Israel, that will discourage the other tribes from doing so. It is like you are committing the sin of the spies, who deterred Bnei Yisrael from believing they could conquer the land. God became angry with the spies and said that none of the men would live to enter the land with the exception of Kalev and Yehoshua!”
The tribes accepted Moshe’s rebuke. They replied, “We will not remain here while Bnei Yisrael fights against the Canaanites. Let us build stables for our cattle and towns for our families. We will leave our wives and children on this side of the Yarden while we, the men, march with you into Eretz Yisrael to fight. We will not come back until each tribe has inherited their nachala, portion, of the land.”
Moshe agreed to this plan. He warned the tribes of Reuven and Gad that if they failed to keep their promise, they would have sinned against the Lord. In the end, half of the tribe of Menashe also settled on the land east of the Yarden, along with the tribes of Reuven and Gad.
Even though Moshe permitted it, our Sages say that the tribes of Reuven, Gad and half of Menashe made a mistake in settling outside of Eretz Yisrael. The land they chose to inhabit did not have the same kedusha, holiness, as Eretz Yisrael. Moreover, because they were physically separating themselves from the rest of Bnei Yisrael, there was more of a chance that they might be influenced by the idolaters who lived nearby.
From this episode, in addition to others, we learn not to separate ourselves from the community. It is better to remain with people who share our values and beliefs than to put oneself in a position where you are the lone wolf, constantly having to go against what everyone else is doing. Much later on, in the books of Navi, Prophets, when Bnei Yisrael sinned and was sent into galut, exile, God exiled these tribes first.
TRANSITION
So here’s what we learned this week!
Our words are powerful. Because of this, we should be careful not to make promises. It’s better to say I plan to or to add the words bli neder than to commit to something and then be in the position of not being able to fulfill it.
Eventually, evildoers get what they deserve. It might have seemed like Bilam got off scot free for trying ot curse Bnei Yisrael but he did not- he is killed by the sword in this week’s parsha.
We learn the laws of toiveling and kashering dishes in this week’s parsha. Toiveling is the process of immersing brand new dishes in a mikvah. Kashering is the process of taking metal dishes and making them kosher through placing them in boiling water or fire.
We learn how important it is not to separate ourselves from the community. It is better for a person to surround himself with people who share his values and ideals than to have to constantly struggle against everyone else in his community. Because Reuven, Gad and half of Menashe separated themselves from the Jewish community, they were eventually the tribes to be exiled first.
If you have any questions or comments on this week’s episode, please email me at parsha4kids@gmail.com. That’s parsha the number 4 kids at gmail.com. Good Shabbos