LGBTQ Club at Yeshiva University: An Analysis of Both Sides
As a proud alumna of Stern College for Women, I am invested in the outcome of the current debate regarding the existence of an LGBTQ club (alternatively known as the YU Pride Alliance) at Yeshiva University. I will go through several points below:
Orthodox Jews have a Homophobia/ Transphobia Problem
LGBT Students Deserve to Be Safe
Why do LGBTQ Students Attend Yeshiva University?
What Does the YU Pride Alliance Want?
Why is Yeshiva University Against the YU Pride Alliance?
Where Does It End/ Where Do We Go From Here?
Orthodox Jews Have a Homophobia/ Transphobia Problem
Many Orthodox Jews are homophobic and transphobic. This does not come from Torah law. Torah law describes specific actions as “an abomination.” Torah law also describes eating certain non-kosher foods as eating “abominations.” People do not feel the same antipathy and disgust towards Jews they know who eat shellfish that they feel towards Jews they know who are in a same-sex relationship or who have transitioned to a different gender. These feelings towards other Jews are not mandated by Torah law, and might even be a transgression of the love we are supposed to feel towards other Jews, falling into the category of Sinat Chinam [baseless hatred].
When I was at Stern College, I witnessed homophobia firsthand. At that time, there was a club called the YU Tolerance Club which was an undercover club for LGBT students and allies. When a gay student ran for student council, his posters and flyers were ripped down and posters comparing homosexuality to bestiality were put up by fellow students. When an anonymous student called BlueJew wrote a letter about his experience as a closeted gay student in Kol Hamevaser, all of the stacks of Kol Hamevaser were removed from the shelves.
As a high school teacher, I still witness careless homophobic comments being made, usually disguised as “jokes.” This is all the more true when it comes to transphobia (students think it’s hilarious to tell me they identify as a pineapple, for example.) Just last year, YULA (Yeshiva University High School of Los Angeles) put together an entire Purim shpiel mocking the crosstown school, Shalhevet, for its progressive stances. In so doing, they also mocked gay and transgender individuals.
Things have not gotten better at YU. We know this because LGBT students on campus have said so. Watch this video released September 6, 2022, about their experiences.
Here’s just one excerpt:
“As a current student, the decision to keep myself in the closet is to ensure my personal safety here at YU.
Many, rebbeim, teachers, faculty and students have told me things that have made me feel unsafe and have made me thankful that they do not know that I am one of the members of the community that they target, joke about, and express their anger and hate over.
At YU, the presumption is that every single LGBTQ+ individual does not care about religion, that "they" are only trying to make a space for "themselves" in the religious community purely out of spite, and of course are consistently breaking Halacha.
For many LGBTQ+ students like myself, these assumptions are false, hurtful, isolating and dangerous. So, YU is absolutely not a welcoming place for me.”
- Wilf Student, Class of 2023
LGBTQ Students Deserve to Be Safe
The facts are stark. From The Trever Project-
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people aged 10 to 24 (Hedegaard, Curtin, & Warner, 2018) — and lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth are at significantly increased risk.
LGBTQ youth are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers (Johns et al., 2019; Johns et al., 2020).
The Trevor Project estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ youth (13-24) seriously consider suicide each year in the U.S. — and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.
The Trevor Project’s 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health found that 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including more than half of transgender and nonbinary youth.
All of this is compounded when one is part of a religion- such as Orthodox Judaism- that does not permit acting upon one’s homosexuality or transitioning if one identifies as trans.
No caring individual wants YU students to feel unsafe, scared, worried that maybe they would lose access to their dorm room or housing, or to suffer alone and without the mental health support they need. As humans and as Jews, we want everyone to feel like they matter and are loved.
Why Do LGBTQ Students Attend Yeshiva University?
Many people have posed this question. There are excellent universities that are proud to host a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance). Yeshiva University is the bastion of Modern Orthodoxy, and as such, it is aligned to Torah values, which conflict with the mission of a GSA (more on this later). Why do LGBT students choose to attend Yeshiva University given the restrictions the university has on its ability to be supportive of LGBTQ youth?
The YU Pride Alliance put together an excellent slideshow answering this question (linked here) that I am going to type up below.
Why do LGBTQ People Attend Religious Colleges and Universities?
Source: Religious Accountability Project https://www.thereap.org/why
Students Can Be Both LGBTQ and Religious - Nearly half of LGBTQ adults are religious. Often, students are navigating the desire to live their faith while reconciling it with their sexuality or gender identity. Being a part of a faith-based institution is appealing.
Students Are Reliant on Others For Financial Support- Students often decide where to go to school based on financial aid packages, or they rely on parental support. Some students’ parents say they will only provide financial support for religious colleges.
Students Feel Family Pressure to Attend the School- Many LGBTQ students grew up in very religious households and never had the opportunity to consider other options. From a young age, their parents made it clear their only option was to attend a religious college that reflects their family’s faith.
Students May Not Yet Be Aware of their LGBTQ Identity- College is a time of exploration, independence, and self discovery, which can be especially true for students raised in conservative or religious environments. Students often do not know they are LGBTQ until they are confronted with anti-LGBTQ policies when they feel the need to come out or are outed by others.
Students May Not Be Aware of The School’s Anti-LGBTQ Policies- Closeted teenagers may be unlikely to review the nondiscrimination policies of potential universities or research the climate for LGBTQ students. And schools sometimes mislead or misinform students about their anti-LGBTQ policies.
Students May Feel Encouraged to Attend a School with a More Conservative Environment- Growing up in religious households and strict faith communities, many LGBTQ students may think that they will only be comfortable in a conservative environment because it is all they have ever known.
Students May Find the School a Good Fit for Other Reasons- Like others attending any school, students may choose it because it is close to home or family, because other relatives attend the school, or because the school has strong programs for the student’s career choice.
What Does the YU Pride Alliance Want?
This is the million dollar question. According to an article published in JTA on September 16th decrying Yeshiva University’s decision to shut down all student clubs until the issue of the YU Pride Alliance club is resolved, the club exists to allow “queer students to create community and share pizza in a dignified way.”
This is disingenuous in the extreme. If all the YU Pride Alliance wanted was to “create community and share pizza” it could have remained as the YU Tolerance Club or it could exist as an unofficial club funded by JQY (Jewish Queer Youth). But that is not what the YU Pride Alliance actually wants.
According to the YU Pride Alliance’s complaint against Yeshiva University:
It is important to them that the club have the word “LGBT” or “gay” in the title- see excerpt: ‘On three occasions in 2019 and 2020, YU denied official recognition to an undergraduate student organization seeking to form an LGBTQ student club, only because of the group’s LGBTQ status, membership, and mission of fostering a safe and inclusive community for LBGTQ students. YU will not allow a student club with the term “LGBT” or “gay” in the title. There will not be a club, the administration announced in September 2020, because it would “cloud” the university’s “nuanced” position on the treatment of LGBTQ students.’
They want to be like any other club on campus, which means they want YU to provide them with funding, the use of campus facilities, advertising for events in student email blasts and bulletin boards, participation in club fairs for incoming students- “On a tangible level, YU’s refusal to officially recognize the club deprives Plaintiff the YU Pride Alliance and its members of the important benefits enjoyed by YU’s 116 other recognized student organizations, such as the use of campus facilities for meetings (the Alliance must meet off-campus), funding for its activities (the Alliance must fundraise outside the university for its own events, speakers, and snacks), advertising for events in student email blasts and bulletin boards (the Alliance relies on social media and word-of-mouth), and participation in club fairs for incoming students (the Alliance cannot put up a table and greet incoming students along with its peer clubs).”
They plan to invite speakers and create community around LGBTQ issues- “An official LGBTQ student club is not only Plaintiffs’ right as students, it is necessary to their health and well-being on campus. Students may feel isolated and unwelcome on campus, and do not know where to go for resources, guidance, or camaraderie. A club will provide these students with a safe space to create a community and support each other as they navigate the challenges of being LGBTQ Jewish individuals. It will give the students access to funding and communication resources so they may hold and publicize events addressing LGBTQ issues and build relationships with other LGBTQ students and allies.”
At least some of the students named as plaintiffs in the complaint also participated in the ‘We, Too Are YU: Students March for LGBTQ+ Representation.’ The following photo was posted in Yeshiva University College Democrats’ Facebook group outlining the causes for which this march advocates. It seems logical these causes are connected to the mission of the YU Pride Alliance as well, especially since the plaintiffs for the YU Pride Alliance lawsuit (such as Molly Meisels) were also part of the march.
I have already explained the conflict between these demands and Torah values at this link, but they bear repeating, so I will reiterate them in the next section.
Why is Yeshiva University Against the YU Pride Alliance?
I don’t have insider knowledge of Yeshiva University’s thought process. This is my analysis and speculation as an Orthodox Jew who is committed to Torah values.
I’ll begin with a favorite adage of mine: to understand is not to condone.
Being able to understand and empathize with another person’s experience is not the same as condoning their behavior and choices. People who are empathic can understand all kinds of behaviors, ranging from ones that are merely against Torah law but don’t seem to harm another person, like eating shellfish or wearing wool and linen mixed together, to why a young teenager brought up in a failing community and surrounded by community violence chose to murder someone else.
But understanding these behaviors is not the same as condoning them.
If YU allows the YU Pride Alliance to act as an official student club, allowed to use on-campus facilities to host its meetings, receiving funding from the school, allowed to send out email blasts to all students, and allowed to recruit students during club fair, a strong argument can be made that it is not only condoning the club, but it is also sanctioning the club.
Why, you ask, is this a problem? After all, one could argue, the Torah only forbids sexual contact between members of the same gender, and no one will be engaging in such behavior while sitting together and eating pizza.
Well, no. That is not all the Torah forbids.
לֹא־יִהְיֶ֤ה כְלִי־גֶ֙בֶר֙ עַל־אִשָּׁ֔ה וְלֹא־יִלְבַּ֥שׁ גֶּ֖בֶר שִׂמְלַ֣ת אִשָּׁ֑ה כִּ֧י תוֹעֲבַ֛ת יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ כׇּל־עֹ֥שֵׂה אֵֽלֶּה׃ {פ}
A woman must not put on man’s apparel, nor shall a man wear woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is abhorrent to your God יהוה.
If the club is promoting events for trans individuals (who are likely to dress in the clothing of the opposite gender), those people are violating an issur d’oraita [violation directly from the Torah]. And if the club is promoting events where people dress in drag (other than on Purim, when it’s clear everyone is in costume), that is also an issur d’oraita.
There’s more than this, though. It’s a well-known fact that coed clubs at YU are often how people meet their spouses. Think of the YU Medical Ethics Club, Israel Advocacy, NCSY and the like. (I can name multiple couples off the top of my head who met this way). It is not hard to imagine that individuals who join the YU Pride Alliance and hang out at their functions will meet prospective partners there, then marry them. At that point, the YU Pride Alliance will be facilitating gay marriage, which is halakhically forbidden. See Leviticus 19:14.
לֹא־תְקַלֵּ֣ל חֵרֵ֔שׁ וְלִפְנֵ֣י עִוֵּ֔ר לֹ֥א תִתֵּ֖ן מִכְשֹׁ֑ל וְיָרֵ֥אתָ מֵּאֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ אֲנִ֥י יְהֹוָֽה׃ You shall not insult the deaf, or place a stumbling block before the blind. You shall fear your God: I am יהוה.
Not placing a stumbling block before the blind is also an issur d’oraita. It could be that people originally join the YU Pride Alliance to find community and others like them, and to feel supported. But what’s to stop that from becoming an avenue to finding a spouse?
Then there’s the issue of inviting speakers. Who are these speakers going to be? Chances are high they will be people who are in direct violation of Torah law. For example, Rabbi Steve Greenberg, who is married to a man and the head of Eshel. Or individuals who are biologically male but wearing makeup or dresses (whether trans or simply genderfluid). Then there are allies like Rabbi Dr. Aaron Koller who has written things like this:
So, in short: In a clash between humanity and halakha, opt for humanity, and have enough faith in halakha that the problem will be solved. And if somehow the conflict remains intractable, I would rather suffer for being a good person than sacrifice someone else’s life on the altar of my religiosity.
This is the antithesis of Orthodox Jewish values, and of everything Rabbi Dr. Joseph B. Soloveitchik writes when he talks about having heroism for the halakha. Halakha can be painful. That doesn’t mean we get to undo it. (Soloveitchik has many, many pieces on this; if you are not familiar with them, I can direct you to them.)
All of this is focused on the proposal within the complaint. But let’s go beyond that for a moment to examine the ‘What We March For’ statements. One of the things the students marched for was for President Berman to condemn “homophobic rhetoric of students, rabbis and faculty on campus.” But who gets to decide what homophobia is?
Here’s a quote from ‘We, Too are YU: Students March for LGBTQ Rights at Yeshiva University’ in Moment Magazine.
“In my first few weeks at school, I was in a class where the rabbi said that sexual relationships such as incest, bestiality and homosexuality are all sins punishable by death in the Torah,” said Courtney Marks, a march organizer and a student at Yeshiva University’s Stern College, in a speech before the march. “He spoke as if people like me are evil and as if our lives do not matter. This is why I march!” she added, holding back tears.
This student got upset because a rabbi taught Torah law. It is a fact these sins are punishable by death in the Torah. That’s not homophobia. That’s teaching Torah. An Orthodox institution needs to be able to teach Torah. The latter half of the girl’s statement - “he spoke as if people like me are evil and as if our lives do not matter”- is, at least as portrayed in the article, her own inference, not what the teacher actually said. It is important that students are taught to be less fragile and not to mistake the teaching of a biblical text for actual hatred of them as people (see ‘The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure.’)
Let’s also look at #5 on the list of causes the students marched for. It reads: “YU Students should be allowed to have a Gay-Straight Alliance on campus. It must be clear it is a GSA.” GSA Network defines a GSA in the following way:
"GSA clubs, or GSAs for short, are student-run organizations that unite LGBTQ+ and allied youth to build community and organize around issues impacting them in their schools and communities. GSAs have evolved beyond their traditional role to serve as safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth in middle schools and high schools, and have emerged as vehicles for deep social change related to racial, gender, and educational justice [emph mine].
A growing body of research confirms that the presence of a GSA has a positive and lasting effect on student health, wellness, and academic performance. It can also protect students from harassment based on sexual orientation or gender identity, and improve school climates for all students in the long-term."
The difficulty of having a GSA on a religious campus is that the club is no longer there merely to serve as a safe space and support group. The club comes with a focus on "social change related to racial, gender and educational justice." That social change declares that gender is a construct and therefore one can transition between genders, something which traditional Judaism and halakha does not support. It also advocates for acting upon one's sexuality (having a sexual or romantic relationship with a partner of the same gender), which once again, clashes with halakha.
Where Does it End/ Where Do We Go From Here?
I was astonished by YU’s willingness to cancel all clubs while they determine what to do about the YU Pride Alliance. But my husband, who is a lawyer, explained it to me. If YU wants to claim that as an Orthodox Jewish institution they cannot have the YU Pride Alliance as an official club on campus, they cannot allow it to operate for six months (or however long it takes to continue the university’s case in court) as this would directly undermine its argument.
There is room for compromise if the YU Pride Alliance and YU wish to compromise. There is a halakhic way to support LGBTQ students on campus. Much of ‘The Well-Being of LGBT Pupils’ by Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis, could be used to structure such a program. Here is what it would look like:
Sensitivity trainings for all students at YU (and certainly for RAs, faculty and staff) to understand what it means to be a member of the LGBTQ community, and how to react to individuals who identify this way with care and compassion. Connect all of this to Jewish values, as Rabbi Mirvis does, such as v’ahavta l’reacha kamocha (loving your fellow as yourself), lo taamod al dam re’echa (don’t stand on your brother’s blood) and onaat devarim (not harming others with your language).
Taking homophobia and transphobia seriously and disciplining individuals who make homophobic or transphobic comments, but without assuming that the mere teaching of Torah texts that do not condone acting upon one’s homosexuality or being trans constitutes homophobia and transphobia.
A club that truly exists to be a safe space but also affirms halakha. For example, such a club could focus on mental health issues that impact LGBTQ students. Speakers can be individuals who come in to talk about mental health (social workers and counselors), not about alternative reinterpretations of Judaism that permit same-sex relationships or transitioning. They can also include people like Rabbi Menachem Penner (see his organization here) who is compassionate, kind and caring, but not going to compromise on halakha.
The way it looks now, the YU Pride Alliance is likely to win a pyrrhic victory. Despite its claims, the club’s current mission is not aligned to halakha, and forcing YU to support the club in its current iteration is forcing YU to go against its core values.
(As an aside- The club has also not considered the next steps. What does it mean, for example, for YU to support a trans student who was accepted to Stern but now identifies as male? Should that student get automatic admission to YC? Count as a member of a minyan? Get to dorm on the YC campus among other boys? Obviously none of this would be halakhically possible. Will that then be seen as discrimination? What are the limits of support, and does the YU Pride Alliance accept these limits?)
But this can change. And hopefully it will. Because it is important for LGBTQ students to have a safe space on campus, and also important for Yeshiva University to continue the uphold the religious and halakhic values of Orthodox Judaism. These can coexist- if both parties begin with the same premise, which is that halakha is inviolate. This is not yet the case, but hopefully this matter can progress and change for the better. All humans, including vulnerable humans such as those who identify as members of the LGBTQ community, deserve to feel safe and loved. That is not synonymous with claiming that all behaviors and choices are acceptable based on Torah law.
I have students who are sexually active before marriage. Who get tattoos. Who eat all kinds of non-kosher foods. Who are mechalel Shabbat [desecrate the Sabbath]. I also have students who have chosen to be in same-sex committed relationships. If any of these students were to ask me whether these choices are permitted by Torah law, they know my answer would be “no.” They would also know that I love them anyway. Because that’s my job as a human. And they can respect my values even when they don’t agree with my values. At the end of the day, that’s what Yeshiva University needs to communicate. YU has its values, and they cannot change; they are based on halakha and Torah law. But they will do everything possible to create a safe, loving supportive space within the boundaries of halakha, and to show LGBT students that they love them as humans- no matter what.