A recent piece in The Forward entitled ‘Free the gays:’ Orthodox high schoolers, led by rabbi, take Purim skit too far, ought to be of interest to all members of the Modern Orthodox community (and especially its educators).
In an attempt at skewering woke culture (and mocking its prominence at the other LA Modern Orthodox high school, Shalhevet), a Purim skit at YULA devolved into something else completely. As written in the article,
In the shpiel, which was led by a rabbi on the school’s faculty and took place in the school’s gym, the group held up signs that said “Don’t Misgender Me,” “#BlackLivesMatter,” “#StopAsianHate” and “Free the gays.” The rest of the student body roared with laughter and jeered as the rabbi, Elchanan Shoff welcomed them to a “town hall” meeting — a fixture of Shalhevet’s student democracy, with “complimentary oat milk.”
The school’s principal, Rabbi Joseph Schreiber, was emceeing the event, though it was unclear whether he could see the posters.
Afterwards, the students posed taking a knee, some with raised fists — seemingly lampooning the symbolic action of Colin Kaepernick and other athletes who have kneeled during the national anthem to protest police violence.
Fortunately, the Head of School, Rabbi Arye Sufrin, who was not present during the event, said the incident was a chilul Hashem, desecration of God’s name. Similarly, Rabbi David Block of Shalhevet also took the high road, stating “We should be extremely proud of who we are - our values, our conversations/dialogue, and especially our LOVE and support of every single student/Jew/person.”
I think this is much bigger than two Los Angeles high schools and a Purim skit. This is a question of how Modern Orthodox students think and how they are being educated in general.
Many Modern Orthodox students receive a world-class but myopic education. They can talk about the ways in which Zionists and Zionism are discriminated against, and perhaps also discuss antisemitism (and whether anti-Zionism is antisemitism). But do they have any understanding, let alone empathy, for the experiences of individuals outside of their own communities? How about for the experiences of individuals within their own communities- such as those who identify as members of the LGBT community- who are closeted and do not feel safe coming out while attending our Modern Orthodox schools?
Students who felt empathy for their classmates- some of whom are gay based on the statistics- would have considered how it would have felt to be a person of color or a member of the LGBT community watching that shpiel. And then they would have done something. Maybe they wouldn’t have put on the shpiel in the first place. Or maybe, while it was happening, they would have gotten up and protested it. At the very least, maybe they would have walked out in protest. Such students would have truly internalized the idea of ואהבת לרעך כמוך.
As my friend Jewish Atheist put it long ago, “To understand is not to condone.”
We can understand the experience of another person even if we don’t agree with their choices or the policies they enact or want to enact. In fact, we must strive for this understanding.
But we have not sufficiently prioritized empathy in our educational model. Our students may know how to learn Gemara, translate pesukim, delve into parshanut, enjoy their youth groups and their trips to Israel- but do they know how to feel for another person? Do they know how to imagine themselves in their shoes?
I don’t know how YULA and Shalhevet plan to address what happened. But personally, I like the restorative justice model. It’s predicated on three pillars.
Encounter
Repair
Transform
Encounter means bringing together the people who were harmed or dehumanized- in this case, people of color and members of the Orthodox Jewish LGBT community- with those who dehumanized them. Then, these individuals have the opportunity to share their stories and to make the students aware of the impact they had through their signs and posters. Helping students understand the impact of their actions, and what it means for a Jewish person of color to see an “I Can’t Breathe” poster or for a member of the LGBT community to see a “Don’t Misgender Me” poster played for laughs- is the first step. (I might even extend it to the full student body, given they were bystanders/ don’t seem to have actively protested what happened.)
Repair is the obligation to put things right. This would mean that those students who dehumanized others actually put forth a statement or a video or something else that addresses what they did, why they did it, and what they’ve learned from speaking to people who are members of those communities. Or, alternatively, maybe they do something of value for members of the Jewish LGBT or Black communities. It doesn’t need to be forced. But whatever it is, it has to be honest and show the students understand the inherent dignity of their fellow human beings in a way they did not before.
Transform means creating a culture in the school where this cannot happen again. One way to do this is to invite JQY to come in and bring their sensitivity training to the school- not only this year, but during future years as well. Dr. Eliezer Jones mentioned that the ADL offers anti-bias training; that may also be a valuable resource.
All of our Modern Orthodox day schools (and camps) need to do better when it comes to teaching our students to care about and love their fellow man- because every single person was created b’tzelem Elokim [in the image of God]. I teach a unit on the intersection of Judaism and the LGBT community and what halakha actually says and does not say. I think many more schools should do this. When we don’t do this, we are indirectly allowing students to continue to make statements like “That’s so gay” or “I identify as a pineapple”- mocking others and failing to understand the depth of their experience. Note that students do not need to agree with the steps or policies advanced by particular political parties in order to treat others like fellow human beings.
Two podcast episodes everyone should listen to:
“Menachem Penner and Gedalia Robinson: A Child’s Orientation” (link here)- In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we (Rabbi David Bashevkin) talk to Rabbi Menachem Penner—dean of RIETS at Yeshiva University—and his son Gedalia—a musician, cantor-in-training, and member of the LGBTQ community—about their experience in reconciling their family’s religious tradition with Gedalia’s sexual orientation.
When Gedalia realized he was gay as a young teenager, his parents weren’t sure how best to deal with the information. They initially attempted conversion therapy, now known to be ineffective at best and harmful at worst. They have since come to a happier, closer place in their relationship, characterized by love and mutual respect - but the road to this happy ending was long and indirect.
Among the topics covered, we discuss the following: When did Gedalia and his parents realize he was gay? How did they react to this information? What was their initial course of action, and how has that changed over the years? Do they have any regrets? And what would they advise others in similar situations? Tune in to hear Gedalia and Rabbi Penner discuss their journey towards acceptance and mutual understanding.“Male and Female He Created Them”: Trans, Non-Binary, and Orthodox Judaism (link here)- According to Jewish sources, God created humans as distinctly male or distinctly female. The roles, obligations and privileges of each gender are clearly defined in our tradition. Yet, not everyone conforms to the gender assigned to them at birth and some individuals experience their gender as distinctly opposite. Can Orthodox individuals who identify as non-binary or transgender find welcoming places, literally and figuratively, in Orthodox society? In this month’s episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn speak with Rebitzen and social worker Daniela Weiss-Bronstein, about this important topic.
I hope we are able to correct course. My goal would be to produce individuals who would be so pained by the prospect of hurting someone else, whose empathy would run so deep, that it would be impossible for them to create anything like this Purim shpiel.
While treating every human being with the dignity demanded as each is a creation of HaShem, it continually flummoxes me to see the ignorance embraced by such an brilliant group of people as observant Jews. Saying to "understand is not to condone", then brushing right over the order which HaShem created us, including "male and female He made them" by saying "not everyone conforms to the gender 'assigned' them at birth" is nullification of Torah. Humans do not conform to all kinds of things in the Torah, yet why does gender/sexuality non-conforming get a pass, get special protection? Torah says it is an abomination, not only for a man to lay with a man as with a woman, but for even men to dress in female clothing or women to dress in male clothing. Wouldn't our Creator know us better than we know ourselves, and know what is best for us? Its clear His creation and His order means a great deal to Him, hence the Laws, "WHICH ARE FOR OUR OWN GOOD". HaShem is not a dictator, He is full of love and wants His people to have the best lives possible on this earth He created. Throughout the millenia Jews, and non-Jews, have trespassed, ignored, or shunned the instructions of HaShem, and it never ends well. If you love your fellow, you will want what HaShem wants for him/her. You will always encourage in that direction, not in any direction that leads away from HaShem's will. We were told how to express our sexuality-just as we were told how to do business, how to treat the land, how to treat each other. There are those who think adultery is permissible, who think cheating is ok, who profane the Sabbath, all because they do not see fit to "conform". Why do we not support and protect the adulterers, cheaters, etc.? (In some ways we often do, by looking the other way, pretending its not happening, but even these responses reflect the understanding that the behaviors are all wrong.) Everyone is buying the media portrayal of LGBT, nice people who just want to "love" each other. The truth about those lifestyles is brokenness, pain, violence, addiction and idolatry. But in our rush to appear "more tolerant than thou", we leave HaShem behind, His wonderful and loving instructions for our true good behind. And of course, since LGBT has done such a wonderful job of guilting anyone who does not support and celebrate their lifestyles, people have a knee-jerk reaction to apologize for trusting Torah and not supporting LGBT. And everyone is lumping LGBT with the plight of people of color, which is genuine and involves centuries of sin against certain people just because of their skin color. The two are in no way the same at all, though LGBT piggy-backed on the civil rights movement to give itself legitimacy, and it finally worked, because people don't want to use their discernment and the Torah to understand the distinctions between true oppression and license to sin. It is not loving to support and tolerate when any of us go against the Law of Hashem. It is moral laziness, it is idolatry, it is pleasing man to gratify oneself. Read the Tanakh-nothing going on today is new, it all happened in Israel's history. Read what happened when the people refused to return to HaShem and follow His instructions-always it was disaster. And please, don't pull out another knee-jerk response about, "I guess you think we should just stone the gays", etc. I think the schpiel you described at the school was appalling-not only did it insult the truly oppressed, it treated real sin as a joke. We need to start thinking more about how HaShem feels about our behavior, and the answer to that is in the Tanakh, instead of obsessing over the feelings of those who are going on the wrong path. They need help, but most have sadly been brainwashed to think they are just fine being LGBT. This is very sad, because we have truly let broken people down, telling them they're ok so we don't have to deal with the problems that cause this brokenness. Its like telling an addict its fine to keep using, or telling a man who abuses his wife that "he can't help it", so its ok. There is no love going on here, its all self-centeredness posing as morality.
This article is appalling. The author says "encounter, repair, transform" as if...as if her agenda is somehow worthy? Seriously? This is about an Orthodox Jewish school! They should be emphasizing Torah values, not bowing to the Marxist mob disguised as 'woke.' The Torah is so plain about this: Bresh/Gen. 1:27-28 says Hashem created Adam and Chava in His image.."male and female He created them. And He blessed them." The difference between male and female is enshrined in the sanctity of the Torah; moreover, this difference is blessed by the Creator! How is it that those who scream "inclusivity" have no clue that there is a larger Marxist agenda playing out here? Marx wanted to destroy the family, the individual, private property and free markets. He also wanted to dethrone G-d. He was a satanist and hated Jews and black people. The homofasicist agenda along with radical feminism is part of this Marxist agenda along with CRT, gender identity. The Franfurt School in the 1940s saw that proletariat-bourgeousie wasn't working so they focused on "identity politics" to get black Americans on their side.
There's a lot to this but the crux is: do not fall for or tow the line of the "diversity, equity, inclusion--gender identity/CRT" agenda. It is straight up Marxist and intends to destroy America, the West and Torah/Bible values.