Today I listened to a fascinating podcast interview via Chochmat Nashim with TikTok #DafReactions creator Miriam Anzovin. Anzovin has provoked multiple reactions across the Jewish community, with some believing her irreverent, profanity-laced commentary to be a chillul Hashem [desecration of God’s name] and others praising her creativity and relatability.
No matter what you think of Anzovin’s content, her commitment is impressive. She listens to Rabbanit Michelle Farber’s Daf Yomi shiur daily, then reads the My Jewish Learning daily email on the daf, then reads/ learns the actual daf on Sefaria (this is about 2 hours of learning per day). Anzovin cares for her grandmother in addition to holding down an actual job; she has been doing the daf since the previous cycle ended, so this is no small thing.
What I found most compelling about Anzovin’s interview was her explanation as to why she does what she does. Her mother was a Baalas Teshuva [woman who returned to religious observance] and Miriam went on a spiritual journey along with her. Miriam attended Lubavitch day school, homeschooled herself until college, loved Judaism and even got her degree in Jewish Studies. Along the way, she was disenchanted and disillusioned by aspects of the Jewish community that remain problematic, ranging from but not limited to, the agunah crisis [when women are chained in dead marriages because their husbands will not give them a get, or bill of divorce], the fact that survivors of sexual abuse are not always believed (though in the wake of Chaim Walder, that may be changing), and her own experiences as a woman within the Jewish community.
Anzovin talks about how she felt like she could not live as a hypocrite; in order to live authentically, she went off the derech [chose to become non-observant]. Additionally, she now identifies as an atheist. It was very painful for her to feel like she needed to give up her Judaism, and there came a point where she realized that…maybe she did not have to after all.
This is so innately a part of my DNA, and I mean Jewish things, Jewish concepts, that I can’t just step away from that. There’s a reason I got my degree in it- because I love it. I love Judaism. I love learning Jewish content. I love being involved in this continuum of Jewish history. And because I got to a place in my life where I was no longer comfortable being Orthodox primarily because of being a woman and that struggle […]. I hadn’t really considered doing Daf Yomi until I heard Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks of blessed memory come speak at my day job (I work at the local Jewish Federation in Boston). And he came to speak and he spoke in part about Daf Yomi and the incredible idea of being literally on the same page with Jews all around the world, being part of the largest book club I can think of and that sort of unifying experience without necessarily meaning it was a religious observance. And I thought to myself wow, this is a very interesting way that maybe I can connect back in with some of the stuff I felt I had to cut myself off from in order not to be a hypocrite. That’s how I had viewed doing anything that I felt had a religious or observant bent to it. I felt I had no more right to this because I had stepped away.
Anzovin’s goal is to speak to the disenfranchised, the people who were forced out of Judaism or thought they needed to leave because they were not seen as worthy, respected or loved by the tradition.
I think it’s important to know at this point that I’m a divorced woman. I have gone through the process of getting a get even though I’m an atheist. I have gone through that. I know how important it is. And I know this is coming up and I’m going to have some things to say about that. And sometimes it is painful to look at these things. And not just for women. You know, the person I study with- he is deaf. And when we read in Megillah, last tractate, and it said you know deaf people don’t read the Megillah, and that’s hurtful for them. You know, people who are engaging with the daf, not just women, but anyone who is living with a disability or who are LGBTQ and they’re trying to get into it and it’s kicking them in the face, they feel like they’re being spat upon, that’s hard. And I think that’s what a lot of men who are automatically in the club don’t get about Talmud. You have to wrestle with this.
I respect this so much. Anzovin is showing up as her authentic self and grappling with the Talmud in a real way. She is inviting others to join her on the journey.
It happens to be that the way she speaks about the individuals in the Talmud is not the way I would speak about them. But I think, like her, many individuals struggle with aspects of our tradition. And unlike her, many of those individuals are simply quiet about their struggle, confused but afraid to ask. Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik wrote in his article “Surrendering to the Almighty,”
Second, we must not yield - I mean emotionally, it is very important - we must not feel inferior, develop or experience an inferiority complex, and because of that complex yield to the charm - usually it is a transient and passing charm - of modern political or ideological slogans. I say not only not to compromise - certainly not to compromise - but even not to yield emotionally, not to feel inferior, not to experience an inferiority complex. And it should never occur to me that it is important if we would cooperate, just a little bit, with the modern trend or with the secular, modern philosophy. In my opinion, Yahadus does not have to apologize, neither to the modern woman nor to the modern representatives of religious subjectivism. There is no need for apology. We should have pride in our masora, in our heritage. And of course, certainly, it goes without saying, one must not try to compromise with those cultural trends, and one must not try to gear the halachic norm to the transient values of a neurotic society, that is what our society is.
I respect Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik in every way. I am also puzzled by his statements here. I myself as a teacher have taught the unit on Sotah, which includes a Gemara (Sotah 26a) about how if the woman was truly falsely accused, she will receive a blessing that
אִם כֵּן מָה תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר וְנִקְּתָה וְנִזְרְעָה זָרַע שֶׁאִם הָיְתָה יוֹלֶדֶת בְּצַעַר יוֹלֶדֶת בְּרֶיוַח נְקֵבוֹת יוֹלֶדֶת זְכָרִים קְצָרִים יוֹלֶדֶת אֲרוּכִּים שְׁחוֹרִים יוֹלֶדֶת לְבָנִים
Rabbi Yishmael continues: If so, what is the meaning when the verse states: “And she shall be cleared, and shall conceive seed” (Numbers 5:28)? This means that if in the past she would give birth in pain, from then on she will give birth with ease; if she gave birth to females, she will now give birth to males; if her children were short, she will now give birth to tall children; if her children were black, she will give birth to white children.
I am a female teacher standing up in front of my male students teaching that the reward for the innocent woman is that “if she gave birth to females, she will now give birth to males.” I understand this within its historical context, and explain it as such. But am I really to believe that this is my heritage, my tradition, that I should assume I am forever second-class compared to my male counterparts? Is this what the Rav wants of me? Is this what God believes?
I don’t know. But it’s worth exploring. And showing up to the text in a vulnerable way, where you really want to understand, to seek the truth, is a meaningful way to engage. Anzovin couches her vulnerability with anger; I understand that because it’s something I have done as well.
But her questions stand. Even asked disrespectfully, they stand.
We should engage them.
If you love Judaism, getting a degree in it is often a turn-off.