Rahel Bayar of The Bayar Group recommended watching Rewind (which is free with ads on Amazon Prime.)
A documentary by Sasha Joseph Neulinger, it covers his life story and his experiences as a survivor of child sexual abuse- which are heartbreaking and tragic. It’s difficult to watch. But it’s also important. Ideas that come out of this documentary include but are not limited to
Child sexual abuse happens in Jewish families
Intergenerational abuse can and does occur
One child can be harmed/ sexually abused by multiple people (including multiple people within their family)
Even when multiple children are being abused in the same family, the way they cope may be significantly different
(The rest of this post contains spoilers.)
One powerful moment was when Sasha, now an adult, was speaking to his mother about what happened to him, and how confusing it was. Read the scene-
Jaqui (Sasha’s mother): So why, when the first thing happened, why didn't you come to me and tell me? Certainly you felt safe and you felt that I loved you and you knew that I would protect you.
Sasha: I didn't. I mean you can see it [he points at footage of him as a little boy.] Me right there in that moment, I had never been abused. After I was abused and I walked downstairs with my abuser after it had all happened, the first thing was you offered him food and gave him a hug.
Jacqui: But we didn't know what he did.
Sasha: [finding it hard to explain how he felt as a child, why it wouldn’t have been clear to him that his mother would not have supported the abuse] I didn't, I was just a little kid.
Those words- “the first thing was you offered him food and gave him a hug” gave me chills. Because I can see that. I can see exactly how confusing that would be to a little boy who believed that maybe his family thought he deserved this- or would be angry with him if he protested it.
Sasha eventually told because of his love for his sister. Because he realized she too was being abused. And in his words
“The only reason I felt comfortable starting to even talk about what was happening to me was because I felt obligated to tell my parents or hint to my parents what was happening to my sister. I knew that Bekah was the most beautiful person in the world and if he was doing that to her, then maybe what he was doing is wrong and also, I don't want him to do it to her anymore.”
The bravery of that child is unimaginable.
But the scene that was most powerful to me was when Sasha’s therapist worked with him so that he would be able to confront one of his abusers in court. And the plan was for Sasha to have a yarmulke [skullcap] that belonged to his maternal grandfather, whom he felt loved by, with him. If at any point Sasha felt uncomfortable or threatened, he could put that yarmulke on his head and know that his grandfather was protecting him and was with him as he told his story.
And as quoted by Sasha’s therapist reading aloud from an article
So Philadelphia Inquirer article the day after the preliminary hearing. It's incredible. "Mid-way through his testimony he pulled out a white black-rimmed yarmulke as if he'd forgotten it whilst sitting during services and placed it on his curly brown hair." And then he continued and he hurt [his abuser via his testimony.]
The power of that yarmulke.
It’s an incredible film. If you’re a mandatory reporter, as I am, it’s worth watching.
Read this article, written at the time of the trials. Much of this article would NEVER ( and should never ) fly today!!
https://nymag.com/nymetro/news/crimelaw/features/5886/