Blessings & Curses: Where Is *Your* Focus?
I listened to the Halacha Headlines podcast recently. It’s run by Rabbi Ari Wasserman. He asked a compelling question that I had never thought about before:
If Bilam had the ability to bless and to curse, why was Balak so insistent that he curse the Children of Israel? Why not just bless Balak’s nation, Moav, to be successful and prosperous? Or to win in their battle against Bnei Yisrael?
Bilam is the star of this week’s parsha, Balak. He is a sorcerer, prophet, mage for hire- you name it, and the commentaries have lots to say about it. This is one of my favorite parshiot for obvious reasons (hint: I live for magic.) And the text is very clear about Bilam’s abilities.
וְעַתָּה֩ לְכָה־נָּ֨א אָֽרָה־לִּ֜י אֶת־הָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֗ה כִּֽי־עָצ֥וּם הוּא֙ מִמֶּ֔נִּי אוּלַ֤י אוּכַל֙ נַכֶּה־בּ֔וֹ וַֽאֲגָֽרְשֶׁ֖נּוּ מִן־הָאָ֑רֶץ כִּ֣י יָדַ֗עְתִּי אֵ֤ת אֲשֶׁר־תְּבָרֵךְ֙ מְבֹרָ֔ךְ וַֽאֲשֶׁ֥ר תָּאֹ֖ר יוּאָֽר:
So now, please come and curse this people for me, for they are too powerful for me. Perhaps I will be able to wage war against them and drive them out of the land, for I know that whomever you bless is blessed and whomever you curse is cursed."
(For the record, this parsha is chock full of parallels and intertextuality. You should be immediately thinking of Pharaoh when you read the above verse. I’ve written about some of the intertextuality while other things only live in my brain; here are some pieces I have referencing Bilam. See ‘Hagar, Bilam and Opening One’s Eyes,’ ‘Hinneni: Here I Am,’ ‘Balaam and Moses: Prophets of God,’ and my Sefaria sourcesheet, ‘Sorcerers, Angels & Donkeys: Oh My-the Bilaam Story.’ )
Now let’s address the question. Why didn’t Balak just hire Bilam to bless his own people?
I put this question to Google and came up with the following fascinating answers off of Mi Yodeya.
It Was Just Flattery
According to Seforno, Bilam’s main power lay in cursing people, not blessing them. Balak only added in that Bilam could bless people in order to flatter him. See Seforno on Numbers 22:6.
אשר תברך מבורך, actually Bileam’s power did not consist in blessing but in cursing people by mentioning their failings at a critical moment in G’d’s timetable, as elaborated on by our sages in B’rachot 7. This is why Balak did not demand a blessing from Bileam to make him victorious in war, or at least to be blessed so that he could fight the Israelites to a standstill. But when he nonetheless added the words ידעתי את אשר תברך מבורך, he did so only as a way of flattering Bileam.
Moav Was Already Cursed
Moav had actually already been cursed by Bilam. Apparently he couldn’t reverse his curse, which is why the only thing for it was to ask him to curse Bnei Yisrael as well. We know Moav was cursed from Rashi to Numbers 21:27.
באו חשבון “COME TO HESHBON”, — For Sihon had been unable to capture it, and he went and hired Balaam to curse it, and this is the meaning of what Balak said, (Numbers 22:6) “For I know (by what has already happened) that whomsoever thou blessest is blessed, [and whomsoever thou cursest is cursed]” (Midrash Tanchuma, Chukat 24).
(You might be wondering how we know Heshbon was part of Moav. If you read the earlier verse, Numbers 21:26, that is addressed. See verse below.
כִּ֣י חֶשְׁבּ֔וֹן עִ֗יר סִיחֹ֛ן מֶ֥לֶךְ הָאֱמֹרִ֖י הִ֑וא וְה֣וּא נִלְחַ֗ם בְּמֶ֤לֶךְ מוֹאָב֙ הָֽרִאשׁ֔וֹן וַיִּקַּ֧ח אֶת־כׇּל־אַרְצ֛וֹ מִיָּד֖וֹ עַד־אַרְנֹֽן׃ Now Heshbon was the city of Sihon king of the Amorites, who had fought against a former king of Moab and taken all his land from him as far as the Arnon.)
Where Do You Put Your Focus?
Someone named Fred offered this answer on Mi Yodeya.
The Midrash (B'midbar Rabba 20:7) implies that Balak truly believed in Bil'am's power to bless because Bil'am had previously proclaimed that Balak would become king (per the interpretation of the Maharz"u ad loc. and Or HaChaim, B'midbar 22:6).
Accordingly, the Chofetz Chaim would comment that Balak's choice illustrated his wickedness and spitefulness, that he preferred to curse another rather than bless himself (related in Chafetz Chayim 'Al HaTorah).
I tried looking up the Chafetz Chaim Al HaTorah on Parshat Balak to source this text (see link here) and I did not find what Fred is referencing. (There is a really interesting meditation on why Balak wanted to die like a Jew, though!) Perhaps someone else here will have better luck, or perhaps the Chafetz Chaim wrote this in a different one of his sefarim. If any of you can find the source and could comment to this post with the source and a link/ scan of the text, I would appreciate it.
This is actually the answer I was going to suggest as well.
There are different kinds of people in the world. For example, there are people who see someone who has a beautiful house or a beautiful car. Some people think to themselves in a jealous fashion, “Why does she deserve that car? I am so much better than her! I have worked harder and have been nicer; I deserve that car.”
Then there are those who compare themselves to others, thinking, “Wow, my life isn’t good at all since she has such a beautiful car and I don’t. I’ve clearly been a failure.”
And then there are those- typically future-oriented individuals- who think to themselves, “I would like a car like that. What can I do in order to earn the money to buy a car like that?”
The first person is jealous. The second person allows their self-worth to be determined by what others have. The third person uses their desire to grow.
And it is completely based on where they place their focus.
Is the focus she has it and I don’t, therefore she doesn’t deserve it?
Is the focus she has it and I don’t, therefore I must be worthless?
Or is the focus she has it and I don’t; what can I do in order to earn it?
This last approach is the healthiest approach.
Someone I know well embodies this quality. When he was a little boy, he determined that he did not want to be poor. He therefore organized his life (in a way that was truly impressive given his circumstances) to arrange that he would be able to become a lawyer. Whenever he wants something, he focuses on the future. What do I need to do next in order to achieve my goal? How do I grow from this difficult circumstance? What is my next step? He is always looking forward.
Here’s the point. When Balak saw the threat the Jews posed, he had two possible approaches. Either he could focus on building himself up and building up his nation so that they would be strong and capable of meeting the threat. Or he could focus on weakening and destabilizing the Jewish people. In his fear, he chose the latter approach. He was also totally unable to shift his thinking and adapt once it was clear his chosen approach wasn’t working. Instead, he simply kept on trying, over and over again, albeit in different locations- “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
I think many of us share Balak’s tendency. Due to fear, or a sense of threat, we may tear others down, trying over and over again to achieve a sense of worth by cursing (literally or figuratively) others. But it doesn’t work. It is totally futile. The only way to achieve true worth is to build oneself up. If Balak had simply asked Bilam to bless him and his nation, everything that comes next in this parsha- especially Bilam’s eventually having blessed the Jews- could have been avoided. But to do that, Balak would have had to have been focused on growth. And he was not.
What we learn from this parsha is the importance of focus. Where do we place our focus? Is it on the people around us, and an effort to demean, belittle, tear down or harm them? Or is it on ourselves, and trying to build ourselves up to be the best person we can be?
